criticism

April 12, 2015 by b

” knowledge of the facts is no indication of their implementation”

you would think that with the sheer number of times i have ranted on and on about the need for critical feedback i would be able to take it a little better.

this past week i was lucky enough to get intelligent, constructive, and truly careful feedback from real experts – comments on web design, physical conditioning, and coaching capacity – and while i know, i knew they had purely constructive motives, it did not take out the sting – it didn’t keep me from being defensive. the only thing i will say is that the training allowed me to recognize my response, to shut my mouth, and to try and listen.

the funny part is that it never gets “easy”. we are reactive creatures, and if it did ever get less uncomfortable then i would probably just seek harsher criticism. the more discomfort we can handle, the more cognitive dissonance we can tolerate – then the faster we can grow. the faster we can learn. so here we are, another evolution, another exposure to more critique. the new site is a reflection of where we have been and where we are headed – we have new t-shirts, hoodies, and a more streamlined application process. this project has grown beyond my imagination – what began as an attempt to understand myself and my surroundings has become an amazing community and even a source of employment for individuals that have become my family. we have grown strong together, and with that strength and confidence we are better able to open ourselves up – to take on new challenges, to take on a little more risk.

more stress – more opportunity.

it wont be easy, but if we work hard enough, it will be worth it.

-the station

you're god damned right

you’re god damned right

it depends…

March 22, 2015 by b

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i am well aware of the frustration i cause with that answer. nearly every question i am asked gets that simple response. the problem is there is not enough information – i would first have to assume that the person asking is aware and communicating all relevant information, and second – i would have to assume that they are interpreting my answer as i intend. all those assumptions are radically optimistic in the very best circumstance. training is about communication, about relationships… we are so used to being sold simple answers – 10 step plans – not because they work but because they are palatable – they are easy to swallow and easy to sell. but the truth is that no plan survives implementation. better yet – no successful plan survives implementation. any fool can set their mind and close their eyes to new information. ruts and pigheaddedness are not new, and while i can appreciate the poetry of leveraging individual will against the tyranny of circumstance – there comes a time where one must decide between being right and being righteous.

it is easy to market a plan; 8 simple steps to… whatever. creating solutions to the problems that we best understand, following best case scenarios to a solution we are selling. circumstances change. actions have consequences. progress is messy, and rarely linear. our response to that fact is to not sell a plan or a package, but a skillset. sure we have a plan, multiple in fact – but we are not so arrogant as to assume that we have thought of everything. our plan is to adapt. to learn and respond. to achieve our goal.

because that is the rub – as well as the first step. being honest, not only with the end result but with the means – with the costs you are willing to pay. how do you define success? do you want the outcome or the credit? is it still a victory if no one knows your name? how much praise is enough? when you realize that there are more conditions to what you consider “victory” then you will be better able to plan. to get used to the idea of accepting less or to increase your willingness to pay. either way – to approach the goal honestly. we must always be considerate about action and consequence. about correlation and causation. to walk the line, to work diligently to separate the two right up to the moment that it doesn’t matter.

time marches on, relentless; and you can’t be neutral on a moving train. plan, weigh options, act. it is as simple as you allow it to be. time – energy – emotion – everything costs something. be ruthless, be flexible – our real strength lies in our adaptability. incremental change. the ability to use the tools that suit our needs, to adjust, to learn, to pursue our goals. to respond.

remember your goal – it is your counterweight. it will point the way, separate the the useful from the useless. protect what is important, eliminate what is unnecessary. there is no good news, there is no bad news – there are facts, there are feelings. control what you can, work around what you can not. waste nothing.

be honest. be deliberate. and take responsibility.

the rest is easy.

-the station.

not to put too fine a point on it, but when someone tries to sell me a prepackaged solution i assume that either they think i am too stupid to understand the finer points of change – in which case i do not trust them. or worse yet, they actually think that writing a plan down is the same as understanding how to solve a complicated problem…

change is the goal. understanding the difference between causation and correlation allows for greater flexibility – but is not always necessary for implementation. when my house is clean – my diet is better. i harbor no illusions that a messy house somehow interferes with my ability to eat well – but i do understand that a messy house is a sign i am heading towards difficult territory – it is an opportunity to do better.

analyze. interpret. adjust. cycle focus between your goal and the next step. separate those things that you can change, that you cant change, and that you have decided not to change. know the differences, and how to handle them. know the cost – of action and inaction. spend wisely. blame no one.

simple.

March 15, 2015 by b

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it is a common enough question: why do you train like this? why do you do that to yourself? the athletes we have answer these questions quickly and easily – they have their sport, their motivation, their tangible “why” – they do this to win. but what about the rest of us? the new mom? the stressed out lawyer? the veterinary assistant? the gym rat? many of us are “fit enough” to get by, so why? why to we seek out this obvious discomfort?

supposedly, Einstein suggested that we strive to “make things as simple as possible and no simpler”

well. here goes.

simply put – the answer is training. training behavior. habit. that old story about the two wolves – about learning how to feed the right one. absent stress, in what we at the gym refer to as “sober moments” we – as humans – are pretty capable. we have the ability to think through our problems – we know what we need, we know what must be done and how to do it (and what we don’t know we can find online). ninety percent of the time our problem is not information but implementation. stress makes us stupid. it makes us shortsighted. under stress we will most often revert to old habits, to whatever is easiest at the moment, regardless of the consequences. our higher functions seem to shut off – we forget promises, we forget what happens next and what happens after what happens next. we convince ourselves that “this time its different” that a little indiscretion isn’t such a bad thing. we justify bad behavior, we reinforce a narrative that will keep us firmly entrenched exactly where we are. if we accept that stress is what derails our better angels, then the simple answer is to avoid stress – and while that strategy may move us in the right direction, it is incomplete – it leaves us too vulnerable to circumstance. in this world we have very little control over what happens to us, but we have absolute control over what we do in return. new experiences are stressful. consequences are stressful. i would argue that stress is unavoidable – and the worse someone is at dealing with it the more damage it is apt to cause. if the previous assertions are believed, then the one avenue left is to get better at dealing with stress – to change our relationship with it. the things we do – the reps and sets, the weights and meters and rest structures – are simply ways to apply deliberate stress. appropriate stress. just enough stress to become inoculated to it.

let me explain.

we are training ourselves how to argue. how to convince. how to debate and threaten and cajole. the term getting thrown around a lot now is “grit” – the ability to stick with something. the ability to get uncomfortable, to stay that way. to see things through. what people often call grit is that line, the breaking point between what we are now and what we can be. our goal is to win. to make a habit of wining. our goal is right action. deliberate behavior. control. to exert our will on our surroundings. to build our immunity to stress – moment by moment, piece by piece. like patience, like confidence, we build this new armor in layers. in degrees. tiny victories. the gym is simply a controlled environment, a place where we can fine-tune that stress – set the stage, stack the deck – we can walk right up to the edge and hold it there – watch ourselves unravel, just a bit, just enough to learn something new. the gym, after all, is and will always be artificial – but its impact can be very real. it is a tool, a lens through which to view the mechanics of our failure. to find the problem. to fix the problem. so turn down the pressure and practice your form, respond instead of simply reacting. build your habits, own the behavior. challenge yourself – learn to savor the aches and the fear, the sweaty palms and slightly panicked breathing – get comfortable with the voice that is constantly telling you to quit, to ease back, to stay stagnant – it will always be there – you just have to learn to whisper back – to smile or just bare your teeth – to cope. because it is that inability to cope that causes most of us to defeat ourselves before an opponent even enters the equation. that inability to cope is what keeps us stagnant. it is what keeps us in self destructive habits. it is also why we try and de-mistify “suffering” – why we push ourselves, why we bathe in discomfort and try and convince ourselves that we don’t mind. it is about control. about making better decisions. about learning to argue against the voice that deals us the most damage. about learning to tell ourselves a different story.

simple.

not easy.

a minute, under the proper stress, can make for a very long “discussion”

be deliberate, know which voice you are listening to, and why…

edges are, by nature, stressful. the largest part of feeling comfortable is realizing how uncomfortable you can get and still survive.

edges are, by nature, stressful. the largest part of feeling comfortable is realizing how uncomfortable you can be and still survive.

etiquette and elitism

February 12, 2015 by b

self help and shooting advice

half jokingly we say that the end result of intelligent people earnestly discussing how to help will always end in nihilism. more specifically – if you are truly honest you will have to be vague enough to be philosophical, because there are always exceptions. training itself is a discussion, it is give and take, test and adapt. it is an exchange, it is dynamic and varied and extremely personal.

enter the topic of gym etiquette. like any small group we have our customs. our norms. they have been crafted over years and quietly enforced through social pressure – they are ingrained and so obvious (to us) that it can be jarring and frankly offensive when someone does not observe them. in fact, i feel like most cries of “elitism” are the result of an outside individual walking into a group, and ignorant of their customs causing offense. i have been called an elitist, which is a discussion i am willing to have but i think it is usually a misapplication of the word* – i have high standards and occasionally not enough patience to properly express that. the natural socializing process is often easiest when a single individual is exposed to a group – the sheer mass sets the standard, and water seeks its own level. the process has some bumps but when the entire group takes on the job of educating the individual – patience and kindness can prevail. however, if many individuals enter a group at once, the organic learning process can break down – and this is where rules can be useful.

our small project has grown considerably in the last two months – at certain times the present mass leans towards the “uninitiated”, organic process become difficult or breaks down entirely. as much as i hate it rules come in to play – things that are so basic to me and mine that it is sometimes hard to remember that it was not always so. the problem is that rules are assumptions and there is a reason to do almost anything – absolute decisions are usually the kind that come with a body count – all other times there is some grey. rules are simply a substitute to understanding. a framework to see the workings of a system, and once you understand the purpose, the mechanism, you can also understand the moments when the rule does not apply. there is no infraction because the rule was irrelevant – however, claiming a rule is irrelevant is claiming that you understand the system – it is a bold move, and you have to be ready to accept the consequences….

enough philosophy, time to set something down:

rule 1: right action.

good luck…

lets unpack that a bit more –

don’t be an asshole (unless being an asshole is the right action)

still not helpful? how about this:

put yourself in other peoples shoes.

ok, speaking of shoes –

1: bring a change of shoes into the gym.

period. or train in socks. salt? ice? mud? respect the space and everyone involved.

2: respect people who are working.

if you show up early (or stay late) you are intruding on someone elses time. let that sink in. if you are going to be present then do everything possible to minimize that presence. do not engage the coaches or other trainees, stay quiet, and for the love of god stay out of everyone elses way. some moments in a training session are extremely taxing – no one wants to hear you laugh or joke around while they are in the tail end of a 2k row – if you cant help at least try not to hinder. be mindful of what you bring to the table and what you are taking. be worth it.

3: be someone worthy of respect.

a special note about respecting those who are working: just because it is “your hour” it does not give you license to take from the group. spend less energy on being dramatic and more on your improvement. we have rubber mats and plates to make is “ok” to drop weights when appropriate – that being said, always ask yourself if you needed to do that. we are here to improve, to grow, to act willfully under progressively worse circumstances – throwing weights and lying on the floor is telling yourself that temper tantrums and fits are acceptable behavior when under stress – is that really a lesson you need to reinforce? is that who you want to be? on that same note – shit talk can be fun, but there is always the chance that you will get called out – one beauty of the gym is things can be measured.

4: be consistent.

consistently shitty is better than sporadically great. consistency is a starting point and from there we can build – almost anything can be accommodated for if it is discussed ahead of time – we design. we plan. we expect that each individual is being honest and sincere, because that is the only way we can be helpful. also i wish to point out that sporadically great is really rare, usually it is a decision between consistently shitty and sporadically shittier. we keep groups small, if you are inconsistent (without prior arrangements) i assume you don’t care and, in turn, you will be replaced.

5: communicate.

we cannot feel what you feel, words may be a far cry from perfect but they are all we have – use them. our goal is to make the best possible use of our time together, the more we know the better – keep us up to date on your goals, your stress levels, your recovery, it is important and useful information. that being said be responsible for what comes out of your mouth. this is about communication, about improvement – there is a difference between informing and complaining – learn it. some people do not respond well to cheering – leave them alone.

put yourself in other peoples shoes.

don’t be an asshole.

right action.

-the station

seamless

*”elitist” is a word that is now most often applied by an individual to a group that he or she dislikes and wants everyone else to dislike too. it is so overused that the definition is getting muddy and it ends up sounding more like a cheap shot and hurt feelings. dont get me wrong, there are a lot of reasons to dislike groups and individuals – be specific, use language, enumerate – earnestly and eloquently the shortcomings. convince me. explain. otherwise it just sounds like whining.

environment

January 25, 2015 by b

there is always so much talk about environment – it is true, it is important. we go through considerable effort to create a space with feeling, with an ethic – but these spaces are flavored not by the paint and the equipment but by the quality of individuals we invite inside the walls. we surround ourselves with people, not based on income or music choice but by their willingness to believe that they can be better. we make a habit of expecting more out of the people who surround us – and from ourselves. it is amazing how easy it is to live down to other peoples expectations – how other peoples ideas of possible and impossible shape the way we see the world for ourselves. we give up that power, often and unconsciously – small signals seed doubt, and the internal dialogue is strong.

so we cheat. we surround ourselves with a different message. we study psychology and neuroscience – we find reason, misplaced as it is, in our doubt. we remind ourselves that what we are doing is not special, not even difficult – that we were built for this.

it is hard – still. despite what we know. minds are tricky. complicated. we are deeply pliable – we respond to stress, but our response is measured – we change when we need to. it seems to require some sort of sacrifice – pain or discomfort or some sort of danger… there are some terrible and fascinating examples in schwartz’s book the mind and the brain - the short version is that we learn to be helpless. we accept it. we find a work around… the book chronicles a therapy where they would put a stroke victim in a straight jacket for 23 hours a day with only their damaged limb protruding. no shortcuts – breakfast is over there, help yourself – they are signaling the brain that fixing the problem is the only viable option – and it rises to the occasion. in a similar vein – the invisibilia podcast recently did a show featuring a man with no eyes who had taught himself to see – and he was not unique. the visual cortex decodes signals from the eye and creates the images we “see” – starved for information – and fed from a different source – that same visual cortex simply learns to translate the signals from the eardrums to create the same images (there is also an earlier episode called the secret history of thoughts which features a story of a man who was conscious and totally paralyzed for over 8 years and “thought” his way out – i highly recommend it) – the part that stuck with me more than anything from the podcast and schwartz’s book was the apparent cruelty required to “rewire” the brain, how quickly “kindness” can rob someone of a lesson…

imagine this – your grandfather is old, getting in and out of his chair is difficult, so we help. we run errands for him, we give him an arm, we teach his mind that basic strength is no longer necessary – sooner or later it is no longer a matter of “difficult” – it has become impossible. we have allowed our care and affection to make another person helpless. the invisibilia podcast discusses how we unconsciously do that to the blind, or (in one study) how our perceptions of an animal as “stupid” make it perform worse on tests. out of care and affection we forget to challenge the people who matter to us most – those who define our surroundings, our perceptions, and our very reality. hearing stories like these, exploring biases and the science behind how we think puts our tiny struggles into focus, they make us aware of the grandness that we are – as a species – capable of – if we only choose to engage it. if we are willing to pay the price (for most of us) of a little discomfort. if we are willing to surround ourselves with people who care enough to let us fall down – to see us struggle and support us by supporting the person that we wish to become. that is what i mean by “environment” – physically, it is harsh… austere. psychologically it is challenging and supporting in a way i can not rightly explain. it is a crucible. it is where individuals are made – where every person can absorb the strengths of the whole. it is artificial, but its results are not. the brain can be tricked – convinced to change. it is not cheap, easy, or quick – but i do believe it is worth it. to remake your perceptions, your capabilities, and through them – your world.

the “wrench” is a special shirt we give to those who have been a consistent example of behavior. someone who embodies the ideal, chooses what is hard – be in working or recovering – and through that becomes what they have chosen to be.